Untitled
by LegnaYokai
Summary: I wish I had died with them that day." Clarisse and Isaac both take their job seriously. So when a well-planned-out mission goes totally wrong, they WILL find a way to try and fix it, or eliminate the "problem" as soon as possible.
1. The Beginning and End

The Beginning and End

I wish I had died with them that day. Maybe it would help ease this always existent despair.

I gingerly touch the side of my face, feeling the rough, raised skin with my fingertips. My skin feels so different, so alien, now; the smooth scar forever a reminder of what had happened; of what I'd let happen. I only remembered bits and pieces of what happened, but that was all I needed to know. Every now and then, I would dream of the accident. I would wake with a start, sheets twisted around me, in a cold sweat, staring wildly around the generic hospital room.

I moved my other arm, sore and in a sling. Miraculously, my arm was just dislocated. My legs, however, were broken and bruised. The paramedics said I was lucky to still have them, let alone be alive.

I didn't feel the same way.

I kept screaming for the doctors to overdose me "accidently," but my so-called "family" said that it was probably shock. After hearing that, they quickly put me under, into an unnatural sleep.

I woke up here, slightly sitting up, the curtains drawn, though it was well into the day outside. I sighed. _Another day in the world of the living._ I turned my attention to the click of the door.

All I saw was someone's shadow enter the room and close the door behind them. Automatically, my body froze, stiffening as the person got closer and closer to my bed.

I looked around me, trying to find anything I could use as a weapon. My eyes went straight to the nurse's button, but quickly I disregarded it; I would have to speak into it. There was the t.v. remote, but I'd only be able to use it once. My untouched food was on a tray next to me, but again, I would come to the same conclusion as before.

The person's shadow stopped moving, just as I did. I nearly jumped out of my bed when they sneezed. They returned to the door and blew their nose. I was running out of time! I needed something, anything! I covered my face with my hands. I looked at my left arm and I could have slapped myself. I bit my bottom lip tightly as I slowly pulled the IV from my arm. Silently and as gracefully as I could, I got out of bed and moved over to the curtain. I wrapped the IV around my fists quickly, then waited for them to get close enough to the bed.

I sucked in a breath when I saw their hand, far too big for a female nurse's, move to pull the curtain. I waited until he had pulled the curtain far enough back to see a part of my bed. I slid behind them and looped it around their neck. I thought I had succeeded. He was trained for an attack like mine though. He grabbed my arms and flipped me onto the bed in one swift motion. All I could do was blink a few times before looking up to see who it was.

He was bigger than I remembered, with broad shoulders and a tan like he'd worked many years in the sun. If I didn't know him so well, I'd think he was intimidating, with a strong jaw line and harsh looking green eyes, which were actually creamier than they looked. His dirty blonde hair was longer than I remembered too, but it looked good on him. My heart fluttered a bit after seeing his face after so long. Then I remembered that he was on a mission, to India if I remembered correctly, when the accident happened.

"Isaac?" I cleared my throat. "What are you doing back? You shouldn't be back until August fourth."

His eyes flashed quickly, and then he sadly smiled.

"Clair, I've been back for a few weeks now."

My eyes widened in horror. I put a hand to my forehead. "How…How long has it been?" I asked as I looked up at him, but he had looked away.

He walked over to the window and looked out. I sat up and waited for him to answer. He sighed and turned to me, a smile on his face that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"You've changed a lot, Clair." He came over to the bed and sat next to me. He picked up a lock of my now very short hair. I'd forgotten that I had cut it.

"It got in the way." I said, picking up a piece myself. I didn't need to tell him that though. He knew me inside and out, just as I knew him. That usually happens when you've been friends and partners throughout high school and the CIA. We hadn't been in the service very long, five years for me and six for Isaac, but that didn't mean we weren't hard working agents. Our accomplished missions were many, our failed few.

My heart sunk a little when I thought of our failed missions. _There's another mission that I've screwed up._

I sighed. "So when exactly did you get back?"

Isaac looked straight into my eyes as he grabbed my hands, squeezing them slightly as he did so.

"Don't freak out okay?" He continued when I nodded. "I've been back since July twenty-third."

I looked down at our hands and tried to think back.

That was a few days after the accident.

"How did you find out so fast?" I asked in a voice that I barely heard. I looked up at him again. I knew he wouldn't tell me unless I looked at him.

"Your mother told me as soon as she found out. I was on the next flight back home after I hung up."

I nodded and went back to thinking. Isaac stayed as long as he could; he even bribed the nurses to stay longer than visiting hours, saying he was family. Time flew by and I started to yawn. Isaac decided that he wasn't going to leave until I was asleep.

So I settled down to sleep, and slept with no nightmares, the best I'd had in weeks.


	2. Giving up

Giving up with this and Moving on with that

The doctors said I could leave after that, though I wasn't sure I was ready for it. I'd spend hours just sitting by the window, thinking, and trying to convince myself that I was ready.

Isaac came every chance he got. I gave him credit, what with working and trying to make everything easier for me. Every now and again, he would give me news from CIA headquarters and what people were up to. I think Isaac knew that those useless little tidbits of information were helping me make my transition back into the living world. It helped me get used to the crazy, jam-packed life I was living before…

I was scheduled to leave September fifth. All necessary precautions were made. I wouldn't be leaving alone. Isaac and I would be accompanied with one of the Commissioner's personal bodyguards. He was also sending us one of his personal Aston Martins. I thought they were over doing it, but of course, Isaac insisted. So, I went along with it, however hesitant I was. I acted like a good little girl, smiling when I was talked to, staying quiet when someone else was talking. However, the whole time I was forming a plan.

Because I was okay, the doctors gave me all of my belongings back; my clothes, my badge, my computer, my phone. Every chance I got, I would call Headquarters and insist on talking to Mr. Jones, the commissioner. Almost every time, I was told he was 'too busy to talk to a kid.' However, I did get through twice, and each time got me closer to my goal. The first time was an accident, on the secretary's side I think. It rang a few times before he picked up. When he did, he was just finishing some conversation.

"…Yes, I know what I'm risking. Thanks for trying though. Hello?"

I took a deep breath. I'd gotten this far; there's no point in backing down now.

"Hello, Sir. This is Clarisse Strattel. Might I take up a moment of your time?"

"Clarisse Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?" There was alarm in his voice.

"Yes, Sir. That's where I'm calling you from. However, that isn't important. I have a favor to ask. I know what the consequences are for asking this, but I don't think I can continue my career in the CIA if I don't know."

The other side was silent for a few moments.

"I'm listening."

I let out a breath I didn't know I held in.

"Thank you, Sir. I was hoping, with your permission of course, if I could watch the video file of my last mission."

I knew that this could be considered impossible, but I just couldn't continue living if I didn't know what happened. I know this was also hazardous to my health, but I didn't care. The next few minutes were maddening; he was so quiet, I kept looking at my phone to see if he'd hung up. Not five minutes later, my phone beeped, notifying me that he had indeed hung up.


End file.
